Meet My Pawrents
Are you a creature of habit? Do you follow a daily routine like reading the newspaper, writing in a journal, or enjoying a glass of wine every evening—all of which gives you the reassurance that life is exactly the way it should be? If answered “yes” to any of these (probing) questions, then my friend, you may very well have been a cat in a previous lifetime. And I, for one, can think of no higher distinction!
It’s true that cats are the most habitual of creatures. And it’s only because most humans embrace routine that we allow them to share our homes, let alone retain them as members of our staff. Of course, there are some disruptions that we all enjoy. For instance, how dull would life be without the occasional surprise of a new delicacy? Like the time Mum cooked us a succulent beef goulash on the first day of fall. Or the morning’s entertainment, when Dad butters his toast and uses chopsticks to eat them just to make us smile. Yes, situated among these welcome diversions is where I find my most comfortable pattern of life. And my utmost contentment. So here’s a little sneak peek.
Let’s start with Mum. From Monday to Friday, she wakes up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 5am. A 60-minute Peloton session and shot of green juice later, she’s off for the day in her favorite Hermès scarf and Chanel handbag (and not without plucking off a few strands of my fur from her coat).
Mum’s favorite place in the world, with the exception of her bed on a Sunday morning, is the theater. On weeknights, you can catch her at a Gala benefit, ballet performance, jazz club, Off-Broadway play, or the newest art gallery opening. On Saturdays, you’ll find her sipping champagne and all sorts of luscious libations at the Meatpacking District or strolling around the Upper East Side with her girlfriends. Sundays are exclusively for brunch with Dad, where they can be found munching on French toast and gulping espresso martinis at The Polo Bar. Social media calls Mum many things—an artistic director, a mentor, an entrepreneur, an influencer. It seems like she has even more labels than Saks Fifth Avenue!
I know that Mum secretly worships Olivia Palermo's closet and Lauren Santo Domingo's bank account because she spends a good portion of her free time reading Vogue and Vanity Fair. And, when she’s not giving me chin rubs or belly kisses, the rest of her free time involves binging reality TV shows or catching up on the latest food trends (kale chips anyone?).
What Dad does outside of this penthouse still remains a mystery to me. I can’t quite put my paw on it, but I think his job might be a combination of Wall Street trader/real-estate mogul/understudy for Aaron Burr in Hamilton. Who am I kidding? I’ve barely scratched the surface!
Every morning, I make sure I follow Dad around as he shuffles into the bathroom where he spends an hour on the toilet—the first half checking his emails and the second half scanning the Business section of The New York Times. After a quick shave of his own whiskers, he spends approximately ten minutes singing in the shower trying to perfect his Tony Award-winning purrformance each time. Then, he listens to his favorite podcasts, usually "Up First" or "Planet Money”—all while making himself an ameowicano. Most of the time though, Dad’s morning routine is interrupted by phone calls from strange furaway places called London and Dubai.
Even though there’s a lot I don’t know about Dad, what I do know about him is this: His walk-in closet (which he often tells me to walk out of) is filled with bespoke tailored suits. You’ll find him dressed in one almost every day. His favorite food is bagels and he’ll often come home with a lightly buttered toasted one filled with cream cheese and lox from his favorite store, Russ and Daughters. But most important of all, Dad loves to nap just as much as I do.
Now listen I’d love to go on, but all this talk of naps got me thinking that it’s time for one, so cheerio!